Today we will examine a completely controversial topic - infantilism. The term “infantility” comes from the word “infant”.

From Wikipedia: Infant, female uniform Infanta (Spanish: infante, Port: infant) is the title of all princes and princesses of the royal house in Spain and Portugal.

Infantilism (from Latin infantilis - children's)- this is immaturity in development, the preservation in physical appearance or behavior of traits inherent in previous age stages.

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In a figurative sense, infantilism (as childishness) is a manifestation of a naive approach in everyday life, in politics, in relationships, etc.

For a more complete picture, it should be noted that infantilism can be mental and psychological. And their main difference is not the external manifestation, but the reasons for their occurrence.

The external manifestations of mental and psychological infantilism are similar and are expressed in the manifestation of childish traits in behavior, thinking, and emotional reactions.

To understand the difference between mental and psychological infantilism, it is necessary to understand the causes of its occurrence.

Mental infantilism

It arises due to lag and delay in the child’s psyche. In other words, there is a delay in the formation of personality, caused by a delay in development in the emotional and volitional spheres. The emotional-volitional sphere is the basis on which personality is built. Without such a base, a person, in principle, cannot grow up and at any age remains an “eternal” child.

It should also be noted here that infantile children differ from mentally retarded or autistic children. Their mental sphere may be developed, they may have high level abstract-logical thinking, able to apply acquired knowledge, be intellectually developed and independent.

Mental infantilism cannot be identified in early childhood, it can only be noticed when a school-age or teenage child’s play interests begin to prevail over academic ones.

In other words, the child’s interest is limited only to games and fantasies; everything that goes beyond the boundaries of this world is not accepted, not explored and is perceived as something unpleasant, complex, alien imposed from the outside.

Behavior becomes primitive and predictable; from any disciplinary requirements, the child retreats even further into the world of play and fantasy. Over time, this leads to problems of social adaptation.

As an example, a child can play on the computer for hours, sincerely not understanding why he needs to brush his teeth, make his bed, or go to school. Everything outside the game is alien, unnecessary, incomprehensible.

It should be noted that parents may be to blame for the infantilism of a person born normal. A frivolous attitude towards a child in childhood, a ban on a teenager making independent decisions, and constant restriction of his freedom lead to underdevelopment of the emotional-volitional sphere.

Psychological infantilism

With psychological infantilism, the child has a healthy psyche, without delays. He may well correspond to his developmental age, but in practice this does not happen, because for a number of reasons he chooses the role of a child in his behavior.

In general, the main difference between mental infantilism and psychological infantilism can be expressed as follows:

Mental infantilism: I can’t, even if I want to.

Psychological infantilism: I don’t want to, even if I can.

The general theory is clear. Now more specifically.

How does infantilism appear?

According to psychologists, infantilism is not an innate quality, but acquired through upbringing. So what do parents and educators do that makes a child grow up infantile?

Again, according to psychologists, infantilism develops in the period from 8 to 12 years. Let's not argue, but simply observe how this happens.

In the period from 8 to 12 years, a child can already take responsibility for his actions. But in order for a child to begin to take independent actions, he needs to be trusted. This is where the main “evil” lies, which leads to infantilism.

Here are some examples of education of infantilism:

• “Are you having trouble writing an essay? I’ll help, I used to write essays well,” says my mother.

• “I know better what’s right!”

• “You will listen to your mother, and everything will be fine.”

• “What opinion can you have!”

• “I said so it will be!”

• “Your hands are growing from the wrong place!”

• “Yes, everything is always like no other for you.”

• “Go away, I’ll do it myself.”

• “Well, of course, whatever he doesn’t take on, he’ll break everything!”

This is how parents gradually lay programs into their children. Some children, of course, will go against it and do it their own way, but they may receive such pressure that the desire to do anything will disappear altogether, and forever.

Over the years, a child may believe that his parents are right, that he is a failure, that he cannot do anything right, and that others can do it much better. And if feelings and emotions are still suppressed, the child will never get to know them and then his emotional sphere will not be developed.

• “You’ll still make me cry here!”

• “Why are you yelling? Hurt? You have to be patient."

• "Boys never cry!"

• “Why are you screaming like crazy.”

All this can be characterized by the following phrase: “Child, don’t interfere with our lives.” Unfortunately, this is the main requirement of parents for children to be quiet, obedient and not interfere. So why then be surprised that infantilism is widespread?

By and large, parents unconsciously suppress both the will and feelings in the child.

This is one of the options. But there are others. For example, when a mother raises her son (or daughter) alone. She begins to take care of the child more than he needs. She wants him to grow up to be very famous, to prove to the whole world what a talent he is, so that his mother can be proud of him.

Keyword– the mother could be proud. IN in this case I don’t even think about a child, the main thing is to satisfy my ambitions. Such a mother will be happy to find for her child an activity that he will like, will put all his strength and money into it, and will take upon himself all the difficulties that may arise during such a hobby.

So talented children grow up, but they are not adapted to anything. It’s good if later there is a woman who wants to serve this talent. What if not? And if it also turns out that there is essentially no talent. Can you guess what awaits such a child in life? And my mother will grieve: “Well, why am I like this! I did so much for him!” Yes, not for him, but FOR HIM, that’s why he is like this.

Another example when parents dote on their child. Since childhood, all he hears is how wonderful he is, how talented, how smart, and everything like that. The child’s self-esteem becomes so high that he is sure that he deserves more and simply will not put in any work to achieve this more.

His parents will do everything for him and will watch with admiration how he breaks toys (he is so inquisitive), how he hurts children in the yard (he is so strong), etc. And when faced with real difficulties in life, he will deflate like a bubble.

Another very shining example the emergence of infantilism, a stormy divorce of parents, when the child feels unwanted. Parents sort out the relationship between themselves, and the child becomes a hostage of this relationship.

All the strength and energy of the parents is directed towards “annoying” the other side. The child does not understand what is really happening and often begins to take responsibility for himself - dad left because of me, I was a bad son (daughter).

This burden becomes exorbitant and suppression of the emotional sphere occurs when the child does not understand what is happening to him, and there is no adult nearby who would help him understand himself and what is happening. The child begins to “withdraw into himself,” become isolated and live in his own world, where he feels comfortable and good. The real world is presented as something frightening, evil and unacceptable.

I think that you yourself can give many such examples, and maybe you even recognize yourself or your parents in some ways. Any result of upbringing that leads to suppression of the emotional-volitional sphere leads to infantilism.

Just don’t rush to blame your parents for everything. This is very convenient and this is also one of the forms of manifestation of immaturity. Better look at what you are doing with your children now.

You see, in order to develop a personality, you yourself need to be a personality. And in order for a conscious child to grow up nearby, the parents must also be conscious. But is this really so?

Do you take out irritation on your children for your unresolved problems (suppression of the emotional sphere)? Are you trying to impose your vision of life on your children (suppression of the volitional sphere)?

We unconsciously make the same mistakes that our parents made, and if we are not aware of them, then our children will make the same mistakes in raising their own children. Alas, this is true.

Once again for understanding:

Mental infantilism is an undeveloped emotional-volitional sphere;

Psychological infantilism is a suppressed emotional-volitional sphere.

How does infantilism manifest?

Manifestations of mental and psychological infantilism are almost the same. The difference between them is that with mental infantilism a person cannot consciously and independently change his behavior, even if he has a motive.

And with psychological infantilism, a person can change his behavior when a motive appears, but most often he does not change out of a desire to leave everything as it is.

Let's look at specific examples of the manifestation of infantilism.

A person has achieved success in science or art, but in everyday life he turns out to be completely unsuited. In his activities, he feels like an adult and competent, but an absolute child in everyday life and in relationships. And he tries to find someone who will take over that area of ​​life in which he can remain a child.

Adult sons and daughters continue to live with their parents and do not start families of their own. With your parents, everything is familiar and familiar; you can remain an eternal child, for whom all everyday problems will be solved.

Starting your own family means taking responsibility for your life and facing certain difficulties.

Suppose that it becomes unbearable to live with your parents, they also begin to demand something. If someone else appears in a person’s life to whom responsibility can be shifted, then he will leave his parents’ home and will continue to lead the same lifestyle as with his parents - not taking on anything and not being responsible for anything.

Only infantilism can push a man or woman to leave their family, to neglect their obligations in order to try to regain their lost youth.

Constantly changing jobs due to unwillingness to make efforts or acquiring mythical experience.

The search for a “savior” or a “magic pill” are also signs of infantilism.

The main criterion can be called the inability and unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s life, not to mention the lives of loved ones. And as they wrote in the comments: “the worst thing is to be with a person and know that you cannot rely on him at a critical moment! Such people create families, give birth to children and shift responsibility onto other shoulders!”

What does infantilism look like?

It is not always possible to determine at first glance whether the person in front of you is childish or not. Infantility will begin to manifest itself in interaction, and especially at critical moments in life, when a person seems to slow down, does not make any decisions and expects someone to take responsibility for him.

Infantile people can be compared to eternal children who don’t really care about anything. Moreover, not only are they not interested in other people, but they also don’t want to take care of themselves (psychological infantilism) or cannot (mental) take care of themselves.

If we talk about male infantilism, then this is definitely the behavior of a child who needs not a woman, but a mother who takes care of him. Many women fall for this bait, and then begin to be indignant: “Why should I do it all the time? And earn money, and maintain a house, and take care of children, and build relationships. Is there even a man nearby?

The question immediately arises: “A man? Who did you marry? Who initiated the acquaintance and meetings? Who made the decisions on how and where to spend the evening together? Who was always figuring out where to go and what to do?” These questions are endless.

If from the very beginning you took everything upon yourself, invented and did everything yourself, and the man simply obediently did it, then did you really marry an ADULT MAN? It seems to me that you were marrying a CHILD. Only you were so in love that you didn’t notice it right away.

What to do

This is the most important question that arises. Let's first look at it in relation to the child, if you are parents. Then in relation to an adult who continues to remain a child throughout life. (This issue is discussed in the article. Ed.)

And lastly, if you saw traits of infantilism in yourself and decided to change something in yourself, but don’t know how.

1. What to do if you have an infantile child growing up.

Let's think together - what do you want to get as a result of raising a child, what are you doing and what needs to be done to get the desired result?

The task of every parent is to adapt the child as much as possible to independent life without parents and teach him to live in interaction with other people so that he can create his own happy family.

There are several mistakes that result in the development of infantilism. Here are some of them.

Mistake 1. Sacrifice

This mistake manifests itself when parents begin to live for their children, trying to give the child the best, so that he has everything, so that he is dressed no worse than others, so that he studies at the institute, while denying himself everything.

One’s own life seems to become unimportant compared to the child’s life. Parents can work several jobs, be malnourished, lack sleep, not take care of themselves and their health, as long as the child is doing well, as long as he learns and grows up as a human being. Most often, single parents do this.

At first glance, it seems that the parents put their whole soul into the child, but the result is disastrous, the child grows up unable to appreciate his parents and the care they gave.

What's really going on? From an early age, a child gets used to the fact that his parents live and work only for his well-being. He gets used to getting everything ready. The question arises: if a person is used to getting everything ready, will he then be able to do something for himself or will he wait for someone to do it for him?

And at the same time, not just wait, but demand with your behavior that you must, because there is no experience of doing something on your own, and it was the parents who did not give this experience, because everything was always for him and only for his sake. He seriously does not understand why it should be different and how this is even possible.

And the child does not understand why and for what he should be grateful to his parents, if this was how it should have been. Sacrificing yourself means ruining both your life and the life of a child.

What to do. You need to start with yourself, learn to value yourself and your life. If parents do not value their lives, the child will take this for granted and will also not value the lives of their parents, and, consequently, the lives of other people. For him, living for his sake will become the rule in relationships, he will use others and consider this absolutely normal behavior, because that’s how he was taught, he simply doesn’t know how to do it any other way.

Think about it: is your child interested in being with you if you have nothing to give other than taking care of him? If nothing happens in your life, what could attract a child to share your interests, to feel like a member of a community - a family?

And is it worth it then to be surprised if the child finds entertainment on the side such as drinking, drugs, mindless partying, etc., he is used to only receiving what is given to him. And how can he be proud of you and respect you if you are nothing of yourself, if all your interests are only around him?

Mistake 2. “I’ll clear the clouds with my hands” or I’ll solve all the problems for you

This mistake manifests itself in pity when parents decide that the child has enough problems for a lifetime, and at least let him remain a child with them. And in the end, an eternal child. Pity may be caused by mistrust that the child can take care of himself in some way. And mistrust again arises due to the fact that the child has not been taught to take care of himself.

What it looks like:

• “You’re tired, rest, I’ll finish it.”

• “You still have time to work hard! Let me do it for you."

• “You still have homework to do, okay, go, I’ll wash the dishes myself.”

• “We need to agree with Marivanna so that she tells who needs it so that you can go to study without any problems.”

And everything like that.

By and large, parents begin to feel sorry for their child, he is tired, he has a big workload, he is small, he does not know life. And the fact that parents themselves do not rest and their workload is no less, and not everyone themselves once knew, is somehow forgotten about.

All Homework, the arrangement in life falls on the shoulders of the parents. “This is my child, if I don’t take pity on him, don’t do something for him (read: for him), who else will take care of him? And after some time, when the child gets used to the fact that everything will be done for him, the parents wonder why the child is not adapted to anything and they have to do everything themselves. But for him this is already the norm of behavior.

What does this lead to? The child, if it is a boy, will look for the same wife, behind whose back he can settle down warmly and hide from life’s adversities. She will feed you, wash you and earn money; she is warm and reliable.

If the child is a girl, then she will look for a man who will play the role of dad, who will solve all her problems for her, support her and not burden her with anything.

What to do. First, pay attention to what your child is doing and what chores he performs. If not any, then first of all it is necessary that the child also have his own responsibilities.

It is not so difficult to teach a child to take out the trash, wash the dishes, put away toys and things, and keep his room in order. But responsibilities must not just be assigned, but taught how and what needs to be done and explained why. Under no circumstances should a similar phrase be heard: “The main thing is to study well, this is your responsibility, and I will do everything around the house myself.”

He must be held accountable for his duties. Whether the child is tired or not, it doesn’t matter, in the end, he can rest and fulfill his duties, this is his responsibility. Isn't that what you do yourself? Is someone doing something for you? Your task is to learn not to feel sorry and not to do work for him if you want him not to grow up childish. It is pity and distrust that a child can do something well on his own that does not provide the opportunity to develop the volitional sphere.

Error 3. Excessive love, expressed in constant admiration, tenderness, elevation above others and permissiveness

What could this lead to? Moreover, he will never learn to love (and therefore give), including his parents. At first glance, it will seem that he knows how to love, but all his love, it is conditional and only in response, and with any remark, doubt about his “genius” or in the absence of admiration, it will “disappear.”

As a result of such upbringing, the child is confident that the whole world should admire and indulge him. And if this does not happen, then everyone around is bad, incapable of love. Although he is the one who is incapable of love, he was not taught this.

As a result, he will choose a defensive phrase: “I am who I am and accept me as I am, if I don’t like it, I won’t accept it.” He will take the love of others calmly, for granted, and, having no response within, will hurt those who love him, including his parents.

This is often perceived as a manifestation of selfishness, but the problem is much deeper; such a child has an underdeveloped emotional sphere. He simply has nothing to love. Being in the spotlight all the time, he did not learn to trust his feelings and the child did not develop a sincere interest in other people.

Another option is when parents “protect” their child who has hit the threshold in this way: “Oh, what a bad threshold, it offended our boy!” From childhood, a child is taught that everyone around him is to blame for his troubles.

What to do. Again, it is necessary to start with the parents, for whom it is also time to grow up and stop seeing their child as a toy, an object of adoration. A child is an independent, autonomous person who, in order to develop, needs to be in the real world, and not the world invented by his parents.

The child must see and experience the whole gamut of feelings and emotions, without running away or suppressing them. And the task of parents is to learn to respond adequately to the manifestation of emotions, not to prohibit, not to calm unnecessarily, but to sort out all the situations that caused negative emotions.

It is not at all necessary that someone else is “bad” and that’s why your child is crying, look at the situation as a whole, what your child did wrong, teach him not to focus on himself, but to meet people halfway, showing sincere interest in them and find ways out of difficult situations, without blaming others and yourself. But for this, as I already wrote, parents themselves need to grow up.

Mistake 4. Clear guidelines and rules

Most parents find it very convenient when an obedient child grows up nearby, clearly following the instructions “do this”, “don’t do that”, “don’t be friends with this boy”, “in this case do this”, etc.

They believe that all education is about command and submission. But they don’t think at all that they are depriving the child of the ability to think independently and take responsibility for their actions.

As a result, they raise a soulless and thoughtless robot who needs clear instructions. And then they themselves suffer from the fact that if they didn’t say something, the child didn’t do it. Here, not only the volitional, but also the emotional sphere is suppressed, because the child does not need to notice the emotional states of both his own and other people, and it becomes the norm for him to act only according to instructions. The child lives in constant obsessiveness and complete emotional neglect.

What does this lead to? A person does not learn to think and becomes unable to think on his own, he constantly needs someone who will give him clear instructions on what, how and when to do, he will always have others to blame, those who did not “correct” his behavior, did not say what to do and how to proceed.

Such people will never show initiative, and will always wait for clear and specific instructions. They will not be able to solve any complex problems.

What to do in such cases? Learn to trust your child, let him do something wrong, you’ll just sort out the situation later and find it together the right decision, together, not for him. Talk to your child more, ask him to express his opinion, don’t make fun of him if you don’t like his opinion.

And most importantly, do not criticize, but analyze the situation, what was done wrong and how it could have been done differently, constantly asking for the child’s opinion. In other words, the child must be taught to think and reflect.

Mistake 5. “I myself know what the child needs”

This error is a variation of the fourth error. And it lies in the fact that parents do not listen to the true desires of the child. The child’s wishes are perceived as momentary whims, but this is not quite the same thing.

Whims are fleeting desires, but true desires are what a child dreams of. The purpose of such parental behavior is for the child to realize what the parents themselves could not realize (as options - family traditions, fictional images unborn child). By and large, they make a “second self” out of the child.

Once upon a time, in childhood, such parents dreamed of becoming musicians, famous athletes, great mathematicians, and now they are trying to realize their childhood dreams through their child. As a result, the child cannot find a favorite activity for himself, and if he does find it, then the parents take it with hostility: “I know better what you need, so you will do what I tell you.”

What does this lead to? Moreover, the child will never have a goal at all, he will never learn to understand his desires, and will always be dependent on the desires of others and is unlikely to achieve any success in realizing the desires of his parents. He will always feel “out of place.”

What to do. Learn to listen to your child’s wishes, be interested in what he dreams of, what attracts him, teach him to express his desires out loud. Observe what attracts your child, what he enjoys doing. Never compare your child with others.

Remember, the desire for your child to become a musician, artist, famous athlete, mathematician - these are your desires, not the child's. Trying to instill your desires in a child, you will make him deeply unhappy or achieve the opposite result.

Mistake 6. “Boys don’t cry”

The inability of the parents themselves to express their emotions leads to the fact that the child’s emotions begin to be suppressed. There is a ban on strong experiences of positive and negative emotions corresponding to the real situation, since the parents themselves do not know how to react to them.

And if you don’t know something, then often the choice is made towards leaving or banning it. As a result, by forbidding the child to express his emotions, parents by and large forbid the child to feel, and ultimately, to live life to the fullest.

What does this lead to? Growing up, a child cannot understand himself, and he needs a “guide” who will explain to him what he feels. He will trust this person and completely depend on his opinion. This is where conflicts arise between a man’s mother and wife.

The mother will say one thing, and the wife another, and each will prove that exactly what she says is what the man feels. As a result, the man simply steps aside, giving the women the opportunity to “sort things out” among themselves.

What is really happening to him, he does not know and will follow the decision of the one who wins this war. As a result, he will always live someone else's life, but not his own, and when he does not get to know himself.

What to do. Allow your child to cry, laugh, express himself emotionally, do not rush to reassure him in this way: “Okay, okay, everything will work out,” “boys don’t cry,” etc. When a child is in pain, do not hide from his feelings, make it clear that you would also be in pain in a similar situation, and you understand him.

Show empathy, let the child get acquainted with the whole range of feelings without suppression. If he is happy about something, rejoice with him, if he is sad, listen to what worries him. Show interest in your child's inner life.

Mistake 7. Transferring your emotional state to the child

Often parents transfer their unsettledness and dissatisfaction with life onto the child. This is expressed in constant nagging, raising the voice, and sometimes simply lashing out at the child.

The child becomes hostage to the parent's dissatisfaction and is unable to resist him. This leads to the child “switching off”, suppressing his emotional sphere and choosing psychological protection from the parent “withdrawal”.

What does this lead to? Growing up, the child stops “hearing”, closes down, and often simply forgets what was said to him, perceiving any words addressed to him as an attack. He has to repeat the same thing ten times in order for him to hear or give some kind of feedback. feedback.

From the outside, this looks like indifference or disregard for the words of others. It is difficult to come to an understanding with such a person, because he never expresses his opinion, and more often than not this opinion simply does not exist.

What to do. Remember: it is not your child’s fault that your life is not going the way you want. The fact that you don't get what you want is your problem, not his fault. If you need to let off steam, find more environmentally friendly ways - polish the floors, rearrange the furniture, go to the pool, physical activity.

Uncleaned toys and unwashed dishes are not the reason for your breakdown, but only the reason, the reason is within you. In the end, teaching your child to tidy up toys and wash dishes is your responsibility.

I showed only the main errors, but there are many more.

The main condition for your child not to grow up infantile is to recognize him as an independent and free person, show your trust and sincere love (not to be confused with adoration), support, not violence.

What is infantility? This is a phenomenon characterized by a child’s perception of the world and others, and everything would be fine, but an adult who behaves like a child is perceived by others very critically. Infantile men and women are not capable of full-fledged family relationships, poorly socialized.

What is infantilism?

What does "infantile" mean? This personality quality is the opposite of maturity. It is normal for any person to occasionally experience regression, for example in alarming situations, but a mature personality differs from an infantile one in that it knows how to track this state and reach the level of finding a solution to get out of the current situation. Sometimes infantilism is a manifestation of an illness, but more often it is the position of an adult, expressed in avoiding growing up; the following manifestations are characteristic of infantile individuals:

• fear of responsibility;
• getting stuck in childhood experiences and grievances;
• tendency to blame the whole world for your failures;
• do not strive for development and new knowledge;
• inability to set goals and implement them;
• it is difficult to perceive someone’s refusal of something, infantiles believe that they are owed everything, and they owe no one;
• strong attachment to parents;
• At work, they strive to shift their responsibilities to others.

An infantile personality is an immature personality; infantilism itself is multifaceted and is divided into several types:

1. Physiological– manifested by physical underdevelopment due to difficult pregnancy or childbirth.
2. Mental– congenital psychopathologies and disorders.
3. Psychological– is formed in the process of upbringing in the family.
4. Social– violation of socialization mechanisms.
5. Legal– associated with knowledge gaps in the system of rights and reluctance to explore one’s rights.

Infantilism in psychology

What is infantilism? Psychologists characterize this phenomenon as the immaturity of an individual, manifested in thinking and actions that do not meet the age criterion. Mental infantilism can be a symptom of other disorders: neuroses, phobias, developmental delays nervous system, severe psychopathologies (schizophrenia, autism spectrum disorders).

Causes of psychological infantilism:

• active intrusion of parents into the child’s space and suppression of his independence;
• the child successfully manipulates his parents, they fulfill all his whims, reinforcing in him a pattern of behavior that everything can be achieved in life by skillfully manipulating the feelings of others.

Infantile sexuality

Infantile behavior small child aimed at satisfying their needs. Infantile sexuality is autoeroticism, when the child focuses on the sensations of his body, receiving pleasure and calm from this, for example, in the absence of the mother's breast, he replaces it with sucking his finger, or experiences pleasure from urination and defecation. S. Freud, in his “Essays on Sexuality,” examined in detail the formation of human sexuality through its initial manifestation – infantile sexuality.

Legal infantilism

Infantilism comes in different forms. What is legal infantilism? This phenomenon is inherent in modern society and is expressed in the fact that people do not strive to understand the legal system, do not know their rights and have a negative attitude towards many laws, simply ignoring them. Legal infantilism is considered soft shape distortions of the legal consciousness of citizens, but may threaten that value systems are gradually destroyed.

What is infantilism in psychiatry? Infantilism is manifested by the immaturity of psychophysiological functions; outwardly it looks like physical underdevelopment, the child is stunted, the muscular and skeletal systems are underdeveloped, intellectual development also suffers. If you carry out medication and psychological correction, children often get better. Infantile psychosis, which is a sign of severe disorders autism spectrum

Infantile psychosis manifests itself as follows:

• hyperkinesthesia (attempt to climb walls, high muscle tone to the point of convulsions, running in circles;
• speech is incoherent;
• aggression;
• attention disorders;
• obsessive, same-type body movements.

Social infantilism

The immaturity of a person as an individual, combined with emotional-volitional immaturity, gives rise to the phenomenon of social infantilism, and it is associated with such a concept as victimization. Learned helplessness, positioning oneself as a victim of circumstances, unable to decide something like an adult and take responsibility for actions based on a social role.

Infantile hedonism is one of the most striking manifestations of social infantilism. To get something you need to give: your time, work, overcoming yourself, but in modern society consumerism and pleasure first flourish. For example, a person is eager to buy a new expensive phone, has not saved any money, but took out a loan at high interest rates, and with the anticipation of happiness buys a phone, he becomes involved in the crowd, like everyone else around him. The time comes to pay the bills and face reality: there is not enough to live on, but you need to pay.

Infantility - signs

What does it mean infantile person? The following signs of infantility are characteristic of men and women:

• egocentrism - everything should revolve around him, without effort on his part;
• dependency is a social position;
• commits actions without thinking about the consequences, but only focusing on his needs;
• there is no purpose in life other than your own comfort;
• there is no adequate assessment of oneself;
• does not strive for self-knowledge and self-development;
• He doesn’t know how to solve problems, he waits for someone else to solve them for him.

What is male infantility? Psychological infantilism in a man can arise if he was brought up in an incomplete family, where the mother replaced both parents, was both mom and dad, and devoted herself completely to the child. Often such “sticking” to a child occurs if a woman decides to give birth “for herself” at a late age. Boys are less fortunate in this regard than girls, because a woman cannot give fatherly love and education. Infantile man, signs:

• close symbiotic relationship with mother, listens to her in everything, constantly consults;
• doesn’t know how to handle money, he always doesn’t have any;
• often these are merry fellows and jokers who love festivals and parties at the expense of others;
• avoids serious relationship with women, and if he marries, he brings his wife to his parents’ house;
• looks youthful even in mature age a child's look;
• prefers to escape into the illusory world of fantasy and computer games;
• he is capricious and often takes offense like a child at any criticism directed at him.

Infantility in women

What is female infantility, is it different from male? Yes and no. In some societies, an infantile woman is even encouraged. There are many families where the man decides everything, and the woman is only required to keep the house clean and give birth to children; she gets used to relying on her husband for almost everything. Often, problems of female infantility begin in the parental family; girls are often pampered: “Who is our daddy’s girl here?”, which cultivates in her the feeling that everyone should always take care of her. First dad, then she looks for a man “father”.

Female infantility, signs:

• she grew up, but essentially remained a girl;
• looks for a solution to all his problems in his partner;
• Another option is when the connection with a man lasts exactly until the romance ends, she is not capable of a long-term deep relationship.

The individual, faced with the consequences of reality, either blames others for his problems or finally opens his eyes and begins to ask the question: “How to stop being infantile?” The one who walks will master the road - this means that you need to recognize your infantility as a real existing problem and begin to move towards getting rid of it, this will take some time, but the big bonus will be that the person becomes independent and life begins to improve. Steps to get rid of infantilism:

1. If an adult still lives with his parents, he needs to “go” on his own, for example, rent an apartment.
2. Learn to manage the money you have and stop taking from your parents. They no longer owe anything to their adult son or daughter, and they also have their own needs, don’t forget about it.
3. Having a pet means taking care of it, and it helps you grow up and be responsible.
4. Find a job and become a sought-after specialist.
5. Learn to have your own opinion and defend it.
6. To stop shifting responsibility for making decisions to loved ones, there must be a clear position “I decided so!”, and a clear understanding of why such a decision was made with all the ensuing consequences.

It is quite difficult to determine the maturity of a person, especially if you do not have experience interacting with him in a situation of shared responsibility. But sometimes immaturity is just obvious. Moreover, we see it more often among female representatives. AND we're talking about not about situations of mental illness, it’s just that the behavior of such women and girls is normal - but not age-appropriate. And we’re not talking about the pink bears that she attached to her purse, everything is much more serious.

At the center of the universe

Infantility is, first of all, an internal refusal to recognize oneself as an adult. The most common symptom is “everything for me.” In this case, the infantile girl believes that all events and people simply exist to help or hinder her, as well as to set her on the right path.

Carefully! Fatalism

Although this sign alone is not enough. Sometimes mature people are susceptible to religious fatalism. And it’s quite difficult to argue with them. To the objection that it is impossible for all people to be given certain signs at the same time, you will receive the answer that nothing is impossible for God. Therefore, if you doubt it, a mature person will give you this argument. And infantilism is a reluctance to think deeper than usual, so an immature person in response to such criticism will be confused, and he is unlikely to mention God.

Victim's position

Also, infantilism is an unwillingness to take responsibility. If an immature person makes a mistake, he will not admit it. Teachers claim that in junior courses, often in response to the question “Why aren’t you ready?” young students answer: “It happened so.” The older one gets, the more sophisticated the excuses become. However, this does not mean that the girls have matured psychologically; they have simply learned to shrug off responsibility in ways that are more acceptable to society. A mature woman will say: “I am to blame for this... I am ready to do... Or other options at your discretion.” An infantile woman will blame circumstances and look like a victim of events or other people.

Deep Hunger

Still immature individuals talk a lot. And they hardly listen. Therefore, they often have problems with friends, especially if immaturity has been prolonged. Everyone in childhood goes through a stage of being interested only in themselves, but some cannot go further and learn to listen, and not just talk. The deep reason is that a person does not receive the type of information he needs in due time, and therefore the psyche cannot develop correctly. Infantility is a kind of developmental delay. A good psychologist will help you recover, who will help you find ways to “get enough” necessary information. It literally works wonders, but finding a way on your own is often not easy. Moreover, an infantile person often cannot realize his problem.

Immaturity is often very attractive. This is spontaneity, brightness of emotions and alternative way understanding that a person offers to others. So an immature person needs to be treated with care and gently helped him or her to become psychologically mature.

In medicine, the term “infantilism” characterizes a state of the body in which the systems are underdeveloped. The situation is complicated by psycho-emotional disorders, which often arise in adolescence. There are two known forms of pathology: congenital and acquired, and each of them can affect the body partially or completely. Therefore, it is very important to identify the disorder early in its development.

Reasons for the development of pathology

The formation and development of all internal organs and systems begins when the child is still in the womb. The process is quite long and continues after birth. The final stage occurs during adolescence. The likelihood of developing various pathologies during this period is also quite high, and with constant exposure to negative mental or physical factors it only increases.

So, among the reasons contributing to developmental delay, doctors name:

1. Diseases of the cardiac, nervous and vascular systems of the body of a congenital nature.
2. Infections with subsequent infection and illness of the child during the period intrauterine development or in early childhood.
3. Trauma to the skull and brain, including those that could have been sustained during childbirth.
4. Parental sexually transmitted diseases.
5. Pathologies endocrine system organism of congenital and acquired nature.
6. Vitamin imbalance in childhood.
7. Stress experienced during pregnancy.
8. Strict diets in adolescence.
9. Lack of vitamins due to poor diet.
10. Alcohol abuse during pregnancy.
11. Tobacco smoking.
12. Severe poisoning by toxins (alcohol, tobacco, drugs) immediately before conception.

Among other things, underdevelopment of the reproductive system can occur in a child if the pregnancy proceeds with pathologies. There is also a high probability of violation in the presence of extragenital diseases ( main feature diseases in girls - they do not menstruate).

General signs of developmental disorders of the genital organs

Infantilism can be general or partial. In the first case, developmental delay can be traced throughout the entire body: physical, mental, sexual. In case of partial violation, problems arise with a certain system. It is worth noting that sexual infantilism is more pronounced in females than in males.

The stronger sex experiences difficulties in functional terms: there is practically no attraction to a woman, reproductive abilities are impaired, erection is quite low. Among the visible signs - a man's penis is smaller standard size doubled, the timbre of the voice is high, due to the weak production of testosterone, the hair on the chest and face practically does not grow.

Signs of female infantilism are more visible in the process of gradual classification of the disease, so they should be considered in detail.

Degrees of female infantilism

When a woman has sexual infantilism, one of two types of disorders occurs in the body: either the genitals develop incorrectly, or the entire body suffers. In medicine, deviations in the development of the organs of the reproductive system, namely the uterus, are more often diagnosed, which affects reproductive function.

Infantilism is classified into three degrees:

• The first is the least diagnosed form of the disease. It is characterized (its length is no more than three centimeters), and the neck is several times larger than the size of the organ. The patient does not have her period; therefore, there is no possibility of pregnancy. Reproductive function is impaired in in full and cannot be restored.
• The second feature of the pathology is that the length of the cervix exceeds the size of the uterus three times, despite the fact that the organ is no longer than three centimeters. Pathology is observed in the structure and location fallopian tubes. They have excessive bending and length. Monthly bleeding is not regular and is accompanied by severe pain. Due to the specific structure of the tubes, pregnancy is often ectopic. With long-term and proper treatment, it is possible to restore the reproductive system.
• Third - the patient's uterus is almost normal sizes and is about 6-7 centimeters. The main reason for the development of pathology is infectious diseases with damage to the organs of the reproductive system that were suffered in early childhood. With the woman's return to normal, regular sexual activity, the disorders disappear without additional treatment.

Signs of female infantilism

In addition to the main degrees of pathology, sexual infantilism in women is characterized by improper functioning of the ovaries. Reproductive dysfunction and weak manifestation of secondary sexual characteristics are caused by weak production of the hormone estrogen, which also reduces libido levels.

The disease can also be recognized by its external manifestations: the breasts are underdeveloped, the pelvis is narrowed, and there is practically no hair in the pubic area. The girl herself may suspect a disorder due to irregular, painful menstruation.

Sexual infantilism in men

Representatives of the stronger sex also suffer from a similar disorder. Male infantilism is clearly expressed by delayed sexual development. Secondary sexual characteristics and organs are underdeveloped. By external signs a man with a disorder differs from his peers by looking too young.

Sexual infantilism can be suspected if there is a regular absence of sexual attraction to the opposite sex, there is no ejaculation at night, there is no sudden erection, and the man’s penis is small.

It is worth noting that the size of the penis is not always small; in exceptional cases, a man’s penis is developed normally. Then the cause of infantilism is mental underdevelopment. Deviation leads to the fact that a man cannot establish contact with a woman on an emotional level and enter into intimacy with her.

Mental form of disorder

In most cases, pathology does not arise solely against the background mental disorders. It is accompanied by various, sometimes not entirely obvious, physical disorders. We can say that this form of the disease occurs secondary, when congenital or acquired infantilism is already progressing. It arises against the background of problems with the endocrine, cardiac and vascular systems.

A patient with a mental form of infantilism tends to behave like a child: he is frightened by everything new, attacks of hysteria often occur, he is frivolous and self-centered. More often, treatment of this disorder is carried out in a complex, with the elimination of diagnosed congenital or acquired infantilism.

Methods for diagnosing the disease

Infantilism is a complex physical and mental disorder of one or more body systems. Therefore, diagnosticians carry out a number of activities that allow them to accurately determine the etiology of the disease.

So, to make a diagnosis, the doctor may prescribe:

1. Conducting a consultation together with a medical interview (history collection).
2. Ultrasound scanning of the internal organs of the reproductive system.
3. Hormonal test.
4. Examination with a CT machine.
5. Tomography with Doppler to assess the condition of blood vessels and the completeness of blood circulation.
6. X-ray examination of the uterus.
7. Colposcopy.
8. Psychological testing.

In case of obvious pathology, 3 examination procedures will be sufficient to make a diagnosis.

All procedures and testing help specialists accurately determine discrepancies in a person’s age and development of the genital organs, and the presence of mental disorders. Based on this, it is determined correct scheme treatment.

Therapeutic methods of combating infantilism

Genital infantilism is best treated at the initial stage of development. If disorders were identified in early childhood, then the likelihood of complete recovery is very high. When the pathology is diagnosed in adulthood, treatment often does not produce any results.

The success of therapy directly depends on an accurate determination of the reasons against which infantilism developed. Pathologies that arise as a result of improper functioning of the endocrine, cardiac or vascular systems are eliminated by stabilization with medications. In some situations, surgery may be performed.

When diagnosed, a medicinal hormonal treatment regimen is used. Medicines help the body produce the missing hormones (progesterone and estradiol) in the required volume. The doctor also prescribes a course of physical therapy and medications that strengthen the immune system.

The mental form of the disease can be treated by taking tranquilizers and antidepressants. These drugs stabilize the functioning of the nervous system. In difficult situations, treatment with a psychotherapist is indicated.

Prevention

It is possible to prevent genital infantilism. Only future parents can do this, because the onset of pathology occurs during intrauterine development. Even before conception you need to give up bad habits, lead healthy image life and reduce exposure to stressful situations.

To prevent the development of infantilism in childhood, it is necessary to ensure that the child does not come into contact with infections that can affect the organs of the reproductive system. You should also balance your diet, and teenagers should not get carried away with diets or fasting.

If a woman does not undergo the initiation of Maturity, she is stuck in girlhood. A woman-girl, no matter how old she is, is capricious, does not know how to solve problems, believes that men owe her, expects mother's love(constant attention, care, to endure her moods, forgive all her antics...), does not know how to build long-term relationships, she is attracted only by a romantic relationship, she is not capable of going into depth, and a man with an infantile girl is not going on a long voyage will be decided. There is nothing in it that can catch and hold. All she has to offer is cute looks and sex. A man can be held back by this for some time, but then reproaches, whims, demands begin, and therefore an adequate man always runs away from an infantile girl.

It is women-girls who like to blame a man for all their troubles. Cry because you gave him yours best years. Write on social networks about “real” men and what he owes to Her Majesty. I don’t argue that all women are Queens :) but it’s one thing to consider yourself one, and another thing to be! If you are already laying claim to the throne of the Earthly Goddess, then develop in this direction. Grow out of childhood. Become a True Woman. The one who has no problems with a man. After all, if you have problems with men, if you only come across assholes, if no one wants to build a long-term relationship with you, if men only take advantage of you, then the problem is not with them. And in you...

Yes, there are also infantile men. These are the same boys who have not left childhood, who do not take responsibility, but strive for frivolous connections and are hungry for pleasure. But if you attract only such people, think about what you emit. After all, as you know, like goes with like.

A man is looking for a woman who can understand his Soul. Which is filled with Love, which means it can bestow love on him. A man wants to be in a relationship with a woman who knows how to create an atmosphere of comfort and warmth. Harmonize the space around you. Which is wise enough not to react to rude male manifestations with reciprocal rudeness or tears, but knows how to ennoble and elevate his nature. He is looking for someone who values ​​herself and is able to enjoy solitude. After all, a man loves freedom, and he will often have to go into the outside world, and therefore a woman must be able to let him go, trusting him, believing in him. Which has respect for his Masculine Principle. Which knows how to give him the feeling of his importance that is so necessary for him. Who knows how to sincerely admire a man, to see the best qualities in him...

Beauty and sexuality are only good for starting a relationship. But this is not what can keep a man next to you. If you are striving for a deep, loving relationship, test yourself to see how much of a woman you are. Is a man comfortable next to you? Do you know how to value yourself without elevating yourself? Do you know how to understand his Soul, melt his heart and give pure love? Are you able to create a space of Love, comfort and warmth around yourself? Can you be alone? Do you understand a man's needs? Do you have respect for your father and the men around you?.. One day the time comes to grow out of children's dresses, put toys in a box and become an adult. Being a wise, mature, woman, while maintaining girlish enthusiasm and playfulness is an art that every woman who strives for harmonious and happy relationship with a worthy man.