Stop apologizing for everything you do because it's ruining your life! What things do you never need to ask for forgiveness for again?

Crying in the cinema

How often have you started crying in a movie theater and your first reaction was to apologize and explain that you don't usually act like that and you don't understand why you're so sad. However, everyone has feelings, and a person is not responsible for when they manifest themselves.

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Lack of composure

Sometimes "sorry" is just a word that fills the void while you're checking your notes, looking for something, or finishing a message. And although it is quite possible to apologize in such a situation, it is much better to simply ask to wait.

Death

Death comes to everyone, and if murder is not on your schedule, then you definitely shouldn't apologize for the natural course of things in the world, since you are not responsible for the inevitable.

That you trusted your intuition

Sometimes you just feel like there's something wrong with a situation or a person, and you try to make it go away by apologizing. Not only is this not optional, it can also be dangerous if you are right and the person has bad intentions.

Skipping a workout to watch a TV series

Every person has days when the bed wins the battle against gym, and there's nothing wrong with that. Regular exercise allows you to stay in good physical and mental shape, so you simply shouldn't make skipping a new habit.

Mild criticism

No simple way telling someone that you don't like the way they do certain things is why many people start with "Sorry to tell you this, but...". The problem is this: no one will believe that you are sincerely apologizing.

Refusal to go on a date

If you open up about your feelings and ask someone out on a date, you're taking a serious risk, and everyone knows it. So if someone does this to you, you want to soften your refusal, so you apologize. But you are not obligated to give your attention or your time to anyone.

The fact that you told someone you were leaving

Breaking bad news to someone is always unpleasant, but you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Therefore, you should not apologize unless you are the cause of the bad news - then you need to sincerely ask for forgiveness.

That you had an accident

This point is more about statutory liability, and many lawyers agree that you shouldn't apologize if you're in an accident, even if you think you were at fault.

Singing your favorite song at karaoke

Are you not a professional singer and don't have a beautiful voice? Few people can boast of something like this. But that doesn't mean you can't have fun, so don't apologize.

Your child's behavior

Apologizing for your child's actions is the first thing every mother thinks about. However, if you apologize for someone, you are not doing them any good. Not only are you taking responsibility and showing your child that he can do whatever he wants, but you are missing out on the chance to teach him a lesson.

That you ordered one serving of each dessert

People have been taught to classify food as good and bad, but eating is not a moral choice, it is a means of survival. Ordering your favorite food doesn't make you a bad person, so it doesn't require an apology on your part.

That you came up with a great idea in a meeting

If there's one thing people should never apologize for, it's great idea. Unfortunately, if your idea goes against established norms or comes from someone outside of management, people are usually quick to apologize for speaking up.

Disease

If you are sick, whether it is a simple cold or a serious illness, then you do not enjoy it. Many people immediately rush to apologize for being sick, but illness is an uncontrollable element of life.

Question asked

“Excuse me, I have a question.” Why are you asking for forgiveness for having a question? Questions are very important to both the asker and the answerer, and are a great way to show that you are listening to the speaker.

Refusal to help everyone

Life is full of different events, and you may often be asked to do something. For most people, the first reaction is to immediately agree, but this will only bring you unhappiness. Don't apologize for wanting to take care of your own needs first.

What you told someone that they hurt you

If you look at the situation from the outside, you will understand that there is no point in asking for forgiveness for expressing how you feel. You can try not to offend someone who has offended you, but you should only care about your feelings.

The fact that you took a day off for no reason

Every person deserves a break from the daily routine. You are a human being, aren't you? So use your vacation days, even if you just want to be home alone.

Your relatives' toilet is clogged

Having a clogged toilet while visiting is one of the most unpleasant things that can happen to you. However, you cannot control bodily functions. So put your apologies aside and start looking for a plunger.

Love

Falling in love is both the best and the worst thing that can happen to you. And although it may make you feel many different ways, it should not make you want to apologize.

The fact that you went out for a walk to cool down during an argument

Arguments and fights can get very hot and fast, and sometimes the best thing you can do is take a break and go for a walk. But you don't have to apologize for it.

Not knowing the answer to a question

If every person knew the answers to everything, the world would be a much more beautiful place. But no one can know everything, moreover, often you may not know the answer to what is asked of you, and this is normal, you should not apologize for it.

Clarifying your order

You ordered a double cappuccino with soy milk and caramel and received caramel cider? There is nothing wrong with this, it can be easily fixed. And you don't have to apologize for a mistake someone else made.

Request for help

Can't reach the top shelf in the store? The ideal solution It seems like asking the tall man standing next to you for help, but you are afraid that you will disturb him too much, so you immediately ask for forgiveness. But the fact is this: absolutely everyone needs help in this life at one time or another.

Dislike for children

Not everyone loves pink babies and furry puppies, and there's nothing wrong with that. No contract states an obligation to delight in every baby. So you shouldn't apologize right away.

That you are yourself

Do you have a collection of twenty thousand cat figurines? Do you only dress in superhero costumes? Do you like to sing opera songs in the shower? For the world to be what it is, it needs every type of person, and you don't have to apologize for who you are.

Absence from corporate events

About a third of the world's population is classified as introverted, which means these people need to be alone to relax and collect themselves. If you are one of these people, there is nothing wrong with not attending every event with your colleagues, and you don't need to apologize for it.

Imagine a situation: you are accused of something that is not your own fault. Naturally, no arguments help you and only strengthen the negativity. What to do in this case? Should I apologize to the person or should I still try to insist that I am right? The issue is very delicate and multifaceted, but we will try to figure it out.

To whom are we apologizing?

Whether it’s worth apologizing or whether it’s better not to do so depends primarily on what kind of person is in front of you.

Should I ask my partner for forgiveness?

Let's say this is your significant other.

There is one wise expression: “The first to apologize is not the one who is to blame, but the one who values ​​the relationship.”

You probably know that negativity does not lead to anything good, so if you are pettyly accused of something, do not be stubborn, but simply apologize. This is especially true for guys: girls often throw tantrums with or without reason, and sometimes the word “sorry” is the most painless way out of the situation.

Apologizing for profit?

Another example: in front of you is a person with a higher position - the dean of a faculty at your university or your boss at work. Is it worth apologizing to him if it’s not his fault? We think so. Your apology will not make anyone feel worse, but you will be able to avoid conflict and maintain a good relationship with someone to whom you will turn for help more than once. In such a situation, it is important not to cross the line when you apologize and at least roughly understand why, and by ingratiating yourself.

Don't apologize to strangers

If a stranger accuses you, do you need to apologize to him? Of course not. If you are not to blame for anything, it makes sense to ask for forgiveness only from those people with whom you are connected in one way or another and want to save friendly relations. You shouldn’t apologize to people you don’t know, because if they accuse you of something, it means they want to provoke a conflict for their own selfish purposes - who knows what’s in their head, so we recommend avoiding such people.

What you don't need to apologize for

Apologizing when you are wrong is easy and sometimes makes sense. But if you are accused of being a human being?

1. Being tired doesn't make you guilty.

   You came home from work and went to rest, and yours is against you for not paying attention to her - the offense is very selfish, to be honest. There is no need to apologize to her for your fatigue, because rest is a natural need of the body. Just explain to your loved one that you are very tired and will definitely spend time with him after you rest - but no “sorry” or “sorry”, otherwise they will simply sit on your neck.

2. Is appearance a reason to apologize?

   There is no need to apologize for the way nature created you. If someone doesn't like you, just forget it - that's all. No one ever needs to apologize for their appearance, because no one chose how to be born. If you are accused of not meeting standards, you can safely send this person home.

3. Beliefs - only you are right in what you believe.

   There is no need to apologize to Christians for being an atheist - and vice versa. Each person has his own beliefs, and he must defend them. Remember, if someone tells you that you were mistaken in this regard, under no circumstances should you ask for forgiveness from this person. Beliefs are an area where it helps to be stubborn.

4. Apologizing for love?

   “You can’t order your heart,” so when someone blames you for choosing a bad partner, do you need to apologize? Of course not. A person cannot simply choose who he will fall in love with - this process is completely uncontrollable. You see your significant other completely differently than other people, so never try to apologize to anyone for your personal choices.

How to ask for forgiveness correctly

Let's say you are not guilty, but admitted guilt to avoid conflict. How to ask for forgiveness correctly? Firstly, a cold “sorry” or “sorry” rarely helps. In order for a person to have the feeling that you really repent of what you did (even though you didn’t do anything), you need to voice the reason for the offense during the apology. Imagine that your accuser is a priest, and you are in confession. Turn on your acting skills and repent of what you didn't do. Then they will believe your apology and change their attitude to one favorable to you.

We hope you enjoyed the article and got the most out of it! And remember: only apologize when the apology makes sense. And sometimes this meaning is in admitting that you are wrong, even if you are not, for the sake of getting something more.

Always know what to do

You know better than others how to behave in any situation. Knowing how to react to the behavior of others and how to build your own behavior pattern, it is easy to get rid of at least 50% of the doubts that you think about during the day. It would be much more productive to devote this time to more important decisions, right?

Everyone makes mistakes: we are human, we are supposed to. When we make a mistake, we apologize and move on. However, there are things for which feeling guilty is simply inappropriate. Our physical and emotional health depends on these things, and we should never, ever apologize if...

1. We want to go to bed early

Going out in the evening or just watching “one more, final” episode of Game of Thrones is terribly tempting. But if you're tired, you're tired, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sleep is a vital necessity; a person’s well-being directly depends on it. Sleep researchers unanimously say that even the slightest lack of sleep increases stress levels and can lead to serious problems, such as heart disease and obesity. Hurry to bed and don’t listen to anyone: neither yourself, thirsty for entertainment, nor friends, thirsty for your company.

2. Say no

Drama club, photo club? Fully loaded? Sometimes we are simply forced to say “no” if we are offered new project, a new hobby or even extra income, and that's more than normal. Overloading yourself can lead to burnout.

Lisa Earl McLeod, sales and leadership expert, writes that the only way to deal with chaos is everyday life- Focus on one task at a time. “You need to give yourself the opportunity and time to develop a viable strategy that will lead to a successful solution to the problem. Only in this way, solving one problem at a time and not being distracted by others, can we get rid of anxiety,” says Lisa. - “Crazy fuss doesn’t work, calm concentration does.”

3. Take a vacation

Unfortunately, life is cruel and employers are no better. Many of us are so busy, so responsible and so afraid of losing our jobs that we can’t bring ourselves to take a vacation. But there are many benefits to taking time away from your routine and relaxing, and you should take advantage of them. Even the simple act of planning a vacation increases your happiness and reduces your stress levels.

4. Ending destructive friendships

Breaking up with a friend is hard, sometimes even harder than breaking up with a lover. But sometimes we are simply forced to do it - for the sake of our own well-being. When faced with a choice of what to save: relationships or peace of mind, it is better to show mercy towards yourself. After all, only a person who loves himself can open up enough to love others—even those who have been the source of his suffering.

By the way, not so long ago it became known that stress is extremely contagious, so the worse it is for someone nearby, the more likely it will become bad for you too. There is nothing wrong with leaving a relationship that is causing you nothing but trouble.

5. We don’t respond to emails immediately.

We are under constant pressure to respond to an email as soon as it lands in our inbox. However, this is not true. Turn away from mailbox, you are not tied to it and are not obliged to answer letters around the clock. Take, for example, the founder of the microblogging service Tumblr, David Karp: he doesn’t even go to his email until he gets to work. “Reading letters and responding to them from home is wrong and unproductive,” he says.

6. Spending time alone

There are people for whom the prospect of being alone with their thoughts scares the hell out of them (there is even one study that showed that some people would prefer electric shock to loneliness). However, for many (introverts, we’re talking about you), periodic loneliness is a vital necessity. Feeling guilty about the need for privacy is quite common, but unjustified. Moreover, only in solitude can you recharge and learn self-control.

7. Put yourself first

After all, it is your life, and its quality depends on your health and well-being. And therefore, no matter how altruistic you are, it’s time to learn to put your needs and wants first on the list of priorities. This is not a suggestion to become selfish. This strong recommendation take care of your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Discussion

Comment on the article "Not worth an apology: 7 things not worthy of guilt"

Not worth an apology: 7 things not worthy of guilt. You shouldn’t write or call, but show pride; your man will exhaust you all his life, finding new reasons. Then you will start apologizing... I’m embarrassed by the man. if a reason for pride is visible only in a photo in style...

Limit communication to a level that is comfortable for you and do not allow yourself to feel guilty. It’s impossible not to feel guilty about this. I just already went to psychotherapists, 3 different ones over the last 10 years, they ask questions, answering them...

Discussion

Try holotropic breathing (to solve your problems)

I also want to add. Children are people. You don’t love every person, do you? So it is with a child. Maybe we just need yours, I mean yours spiritually. Don't waste money on psychologists, etc.

02/04/2018 14:02:04, Toffee_Toffee

It is not surprising, but psychotherapy, which I began to attend for the last six months with exactly the opposite purpose, led me to my current state. And as a result, I realized that a quarter of my life I live in illusions and deception and do not call a spade a spade.

Discussion

The article made me very afraid of the future. I don't know what I would do if I were the author. I am raising two adopted children, knowing that this is a lottery, but they are still very small. The eldest, she is now three and a half, has all the brothers and sisters. I can’t say that I wasn’t ready for this, I understand what it is, but.... it’s one thing to talk, it’s another to live it. I agree with the opinion of some forum members, maybe you need to rest? Leave alone to rest, alone is the key word, without a crowd, and perhaps without a man. God, you have a natural child, look at him and be happy, he is an extension of you, your consolation before your adopted ones. Here I have no blood, and adoptive ones are my pain, although love. Strength and patience to you!

There is nothing terrible or shameful about taking care of yourself. Your life and your happiness and your children have the same value. Hang in there.

02/06/2018 01:54:43, Toffee_Toffee

To the one to whom they apologize or to the one who apologizes? If someone offended you, will you insist on an apology? Not worth an apology: 7 things not worthy of guilt. Human needs: what you shouldn’t apologize for; psychological and physical...

Discussion

As practice shows, more often than not children need this, but their parents.

both! one, so that he would realize what he had done, and the second, so that he would feel that the offender will not just get over it and they will explain to him how wrong he was

Not worth an apology: 7 things not worthy of guilt. Human needs: what you shouldn’t apologize for; psychological and physical needs of a person. Take, for example, the founder of the microblogging service Tumblr, David Karp: he does not approach email at all...

And the feeling of guilt towards her is constantly present, as well as the desire. I have not tried to manipulate even once, I have been looking for the key to them for a year now, so far without success. I still think that playing on people’s feelings is dangerous, regardless of the amount of gray matter...

Discussion

I like your mother-in-law, she would suit me 100%))) But it seems to me that you are mistaken, she doesn’t love you at all. When they love, they accept unconditionally, and not for something. Regarding tactics: the most effective thing is to evoke a reciprocal feeling of guilt in the mother-in-law. Like, Marvanna, all people are different. That’s who I am, but who the hell should adapt to who now?! There shouldn’t be anyone dissatisfied with me in my presence now, otherwise the milk will disappear! So let her, for the sake of her love for her grandchildren, try to remake herself for you.

It's hard to change yourself. you want to be good to everyone. non-conflict is not bad. but your moral health should come first, and it can be shaken by such vampire mothers-in-law. do you need it?
you talked to her.. and the result? made excuses that you needed to be alone, you small child...that's all! she goes to visit again the next day after your excuses? if so, then you “go to the garden” with the child, for a walk, away from her.. And again make excuses about how hard it is for you and how you want to be alone.
Why are you nervous? Yes, at least every day make excuses in the same repertoire if you can’t talk to her any other way. maybe he'll get used to it?)
ps I have a very similar mother-in-law. and I, too, always slip into excuses when communicating with her. so what? make excuses, but quietly do it your way.

04/29/2010 16:40:07, I can’t remain silent

guilt. Divorce. Family relationships. This is not a feeling of guilt, this is nostalgia for the past. I left my jealous husband and I don’t regret it. BM was not interested in the child, we saw each other two years later, with an offended look, he blames me for everything, for the collapse of the family.

Discussion

Precisely beat him, with blows? Or did he grab it, push it, throw it on the bed with all his might, or shake it? It’s just that even though it’s all bad, it’s still different things. And somehow you can forgive the latter, but beatings... Definitely in the garden.

Horror. He beat you, what sense of guilt can you have?
This is not a feeling of guilt, this is nostalgia for the past.
I left my jealous husband and I don’t regret it. There was a longing for the past, for a good past with him. Then it gradually faded away.
It’s just that not enough time has passed for you. Six months is not enough, the wound has not healed. You did everything right, don't regret it.

Not worth an apology: 7 things not worthy of guilt. However, there are things for which feeling guilty is simply inappropriate. Our physical and emotional health depends on these things, and we should never, ever apologize if...

The feeling of guilt that I didn’t do everything in my power to improve the relationship, which as a woman is not well, I experienced last time when I was 6 years old, probably, or 7... and then I thought “yes, I’ll take care of that.” so that no one hurts me, let them take care of themselves.

Discussion

It was like that. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I felt like I (rubbish) HIM (so good!) LOST!!!
Bottom line: I did everything to return it. Returned it. We lived together for 1.5 months. The most terrible 1.5 months of my life. Now that we have separated again, I sleep like the dead, I eat with an excellent appetite, I feel that I have a bright future ahead of me, and he is a fool.
It’s just that when it comes to divorce and this is a deliberate step, it means that we are already together - well, no way! And the feeling of guilt, self-criticism, cries of “do it to me as it was before,” etc. - only fear of the future.
Close the door behind you. Don't look into the past, don't cling to it. Then there will be no fear. And the feeling of guilt will pass.

08/08/2008 22:21:53, It was, but it passed

What kind of feeling of guilt is this for a “destroyed family”? if there is a religious basis, then I’m done, I can’t discuss this, but if not... Every person is the master of his own life. And he has the power to make his life happy or vice versa. You have taken a step towards happiness. A big, even huge step. Who would be better off in such a preserved family? and now your “not bad almost ex” has a chance to find loving woman. and you have such a chance! so why mourn?

Not worth an apology: 7 things not worthy of guilt. However, there are things for which feeling guilty is simply inappropriate. Feeling guilty about the need for privacy is quite common, but unjustified.

I feel guilty. But there are a lot of such women. They just have someone to do this work for them, a husband or children who do it with You know, I hate it too homework, and although I love the child, I don’t know how to play with him and don’t like him.

Discussion

I completely agree with you. I’m already many years old, but I have a persistent aversion to cleaning my apartment. Since I need to do this, I convince myself that I’ll clean up tomorrow. But tomorrow comes and I have complete rejection, like some kind of damage. I feel guilty. But there are a lot of such women. They just have someone to do this work for them, a husband or children, who do it with pleasure. And in such families, women have no guilt. Everything happens by itself. Here, actress Vera Vasilyeva openly says that she is far from household chores and is not shy. Every person has their own type. We don't judge a man who can't drive a nail...

04/15/2018 15:11:01, SethTatyana

Ooooh, how I understand you! I wanted to post this topic myself. I hate everything related to everyday life. And the worst thing is when you stand at the hated sink with dishes, at the stove or run around with a rag, and next to you a child whines and calls me to play, read, draw, etc. And I keep saying, “Wait, wait,” because I know that otherwise things will accumulate like a snowball, and when the child goes to bed, I will no longer have the strength to deal with it. I really like to tinker with a child, I always have a lot of ideas in my head about what else I can do for him, but in practice my daughter only sees me running around with rags and pots: ((((Sometimes I just want to cry, I think: “It would be better to go to a nursery gave it up - at least they work with the children there." But in reality, it’s a pity to send them to a nursery; nannies and housekeepers are, alas, not our reality; to give a child to a grandmother who is eager to sit with her granddaughter, but who lives far away and who often has problems with blood pressure - in my heart, I also somehow don’t dare... so I’m sitting here. By the way, at first I was also overwhelmed by the “mom’s” lifestyle, when you don’t have to wear makeup, put your hair in a bun, put on your jeans, put your baby in a kanga and go enjoy the sun and the sky. And now I’m looking for every opportunity when I can put on makeup, wear high-heeled shoes and hang around in crowded minibuses :) And I feel like I’ll never go to work again: ((((In general, I’ve been depressed for a year now, and so am I). I don’t know how to change my attitude towards realities that I can’t change. Maybe I’m doing something wrong, I don’t know... but I have to cook and clean every day, because, well, I can’t with a bunch of scattered things. things to sit and read books for the child :), and in terms of cooking - eaters nice houses available :), everything prepared for three days is swept away a day. In general, I’ll go read the thread again, maybe some of the advice will come in handy.

Not worth an apology: 7 things not worthy of guilt. When we make a mistake, we apologize and move on. However, there are things for which feeling guilty is simply inappropriate. Our physical and emotional health depends on these things, and we never...

Discussion

Oh, can I ask you... Why is it DIFFICULT for a child to apologize? It breaks my eldest one, she “reflexively” (stepped on her foot and apologized) sometimes she still slips, and because of serious offenses she just has a stupor. Admits that she was wrong, says that she WANTS to apologize (when educational work I’m conducting, I need to apologize to a third party), but he can’t utter the word itself.
I’m not inclined to force, I only once forced her at the level of “quickly went and apologized, you won’t fall apart,” when it seemed to me that she was very much nurturing her condition (“I can’t apologize”).
Why is this so?
I'm sorry, no problem. At least reflexively, at least essentially. Is this really so? I’ll check it soon with my youngest, she learns “polite words” well.

I agree with the author. My dear, sometimes - “you have to apologize.” Mlyn... After that I explode. What kind of nonsense is this? I MUST APOLOGIZE. The concepts are incompatible in my opinion. An apology should be conscious, not forced. Why stock phrases? Well, what becomes easier from insincere, demanded, squeezed out apologies?

05/17/2007 17:32:07, Mya

Not worth an apology: 7 things not worthy of guilt. The dog will not recover from your apologies / non-apologies, the cat is not stressed. I ask a thousand apologies, but I have the impression... 3) his pride and self-esteem are amused: you always ask for forgiveness, even if...

Discussion

As an aside from the topic:
There is a girl in my youngest class who is the opposite...;)
When he comes to school, the first thing he does is go to the toilet :)
He wraps his boots around his cuff and leaves for the whole first lesson, doing this task thoroughly, slowly, according to the principle “study is not a wolf, it will not run into the forest.”
naturally, having done stone flower returns to class with an accompanying smell;))))

No one in our lives is immune from mistakes and actions for which we subsequently have to apologize. Asking for forgiveness means admitting that you were wrong and instilling in a person confidence that this will not happen again. But not everyone knows how to do it correctly. Instead, “Sorry!” Many apologizing only worsens an already precarious situation. So why should you never apologize?

Transferring “from a sore head to a healthy one”

You start to apologize and say: “Darling, please forgive me... But you too...” Stop. You were taken in the wrong direction. Your “apology” went off the rails of repentance and went towards accusations. This is no longer “Sorry,” but “If you are like this, then I am like this.” There will be no sense in such an apology, since your opponent sees in your words not repentance for what he has done, but only mutual attacks. Maybe he will forgive you out loud, but in his soul he will still feel resentful. Therefore, there can be no talk of real “forgiveness” here.

Try to minimize the offense

Saying apologetically: “Darling, please forgive me, but this is such nonsense...” is also fundamentally wrong. Since your sweetheart is offended by you, it means that he automatically does not consider your offense to be nonsense. And if you consider your offense “nonsense,” then you don’t delve into your boyfriend’s feelings and don’t value them. Your loved one will think that you will do the same next time, since his opinion and feelings mean nothing to you.

With such an apology, you push your admirer away from you and, no matter the hour, he will simply leave you for another, who will not only not consider such offenses as “nonsense”, but also, firstly, will not allow them at all, and, in -secondly, he knows how to normally ask for forgiveness and admit his mistakes without any “twists”.

Repeat the apology several times

“Darling, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry...” Such an apology sounds unconvincing. Rather, it is akin to an “excuse”. The person understands that you did not feel the wrongdoing, but simply automatically decided to smooth out the situation. It is also wrong to repeat your apology several times at certain intervals. Darling, maybe he has already forgiven you a long time ago, but you constantly remind him of this. Such persistence, firstly, is exhausting, and, secondly, it makes you doubt the sincerity of the apology.

Try to pity someone offended by your misdeed

Judge for yourself whether such an apology looks sincere: “Darling, I’m sorry, because you love me...” It sounds not only clumsy, but also stupid. And, meanwhile, there are a lot of fans of this kind of “apology” among us.

You should understand that your loved one should forgive you not because he loves you. He forgives you because you realized you were wrong. And under such a pretext you can do whatever you want. But the love of a sweetheart can someday burst at the seams. It turns out that your loved one should forgive you for everything simply because he loves you. It even sounds crazy.

Tone of apology

When apologizing, you should not keep the “bar” of self-respect and disobedience too high. Rather, it is better to throw it aside altogether. An apologetic person should appear apologetic. If you say your “Sorry!” in an icy tone, there can be no talk of any forgiveness. A person who truly repents of his offense will not look like a king who deigned to accept his forgiveness from a subject.

It would also be wrong to reduce everything to humor. A giggling apologizer is not the kind of person who gives his opponent hope that he (the apologizer) has realized his wrongdoing.

Shifting the blame to third parties

“Darling, I forgot about our meeting because my mother detained me.” Looks unconvincing. Firstly, my dear will not check your “alibi” by calling both your mother and your friend, the director and other persons who were indirectly responsible. Secondly, you implicitly shift your blame onto the shoulders of others, although, for being late, not doing something, or, on the contrary, doing something that was not what was expected of you, you yourself are primarily to blame.

Relying everything on current circumstances

Referring to poor health

“Darling, forgive me... I don’t feel well, my head hurts...” Such an apology looks very biased and unconvincing. That is, you want to say that the damage caused by your offense is nothing compared to your headache. These two circumstances should not be placed on opposite sides of the scale at all.

First, admit your mistake and apologize in a humane way. Receive forgiveness (just not with a sour face). And then complain about your condition. Darling will definitely feel sorry for you. Only he will do this already being sure that you - real person, and there is something to love you for. After all, even during your illness, you found the strength, first of all, to apologize for your wrongdoing.

Conclusion

We've figured out how unnecessary it is to apologize. But here's something else worth remembering. There are things for which it is not worth asking for an apology at all. You should feel this circumstance and not turn into an all-submissive suck-up. Many men are simply exhausted by such “sycophants”.

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